THEREare so many fads I thought would run out of steam but didn't.

Tattoos, for a start. Never thought there would be a market for them after men like my grandfather stopped taking shore leave in Kowloon.

But look around you, half the nation has the first verse of a Smiths song etched across their necks or a takeaway menu engraved up the inner forearm.

Maybe, for instance, financial reset would have cooled the heels of the annual rush to refurnish homes by the start of midnight carols from Westminster. But what is the season of goodwill without a lovely new cream carpet for uncle creeping hands to spill his Merlot over?

I have just watched an advert which promises a new sofa for Christmas. Not just any sofa but one made by humans.

Humans are a pretty unreliable breed. Unless it was a Rolls-Royce would you want a car made by humans? You could once. They were called Allegros.

The reliable old robot is the thing. They have no emotions, at least hopefully not. I don't want my head welding to the microwave because I told the kettleMeccano was the ultimate technology.

The time to worry is if your tablet starts singing Daisy, Daisy over and over while insisting your name is Dave and inviting you into the airlock for some informal murder.

By now I also thought we would be moving away from Mumsnet crossovers in the same way we jogged on from MPVs.

It is difficult to be enthused by a lot of what continues to flood the market.

However there are some which catch the eye. Enter the Suzuki SX4 S-Cross.

Particularly the 1.4 Boosterjet SZ5 with Allgrip 4x4. And before moving on to just what to expect from this 138bhp petrol engine it should be pointed out that the switchable all-wheel-drive system is much more than just a toy and even gets a diff-lock.

Where so many would-be 4x4 crossovers may fear to tread the Suzuki managed to get through.

Okay, but you are not buying this with the north face of Theresa May in mind. Some towing, perhaps and soggy fields. Therefore the steady Eddie 10.2 seconds to 62mph is fine and reflected in a possible 50mpg. Tax is £110.

The S-Cross handles well enough with limited lean considering its high stance.

Unbridled would be my pleasure to be able to tell you that the S-Cross is not only very responsive in town, easy to park and a sensible size but that it also glided down the motorway at 77mph with aplomb.

Sadly I cannot because my long haul this week took me down the M6 and M5. Can we please stop holding up the whole of Britain in the name of ‘smart' motorway gantries? Frankly I may as well have been testing the cruising ability of a telephone box. At least the radar brake support got a good run out.

Equipment levels signal the 1.4 SZ5 to be a bit of a bargain at £24,600 with heated leather seats, reversing camera, a navigation system and the expected entrainment and plug-ins. Actually with an extensive list of safety features there is nothing really missing here.

Complaints? A couple. To engage the paddle shift mode the auto gear change is pulled right to the bottom of the box. However there is no side shift so time and again what was meant to be drive becomes manual and off we go straining in first like a bad case of constipation.

The other is that Suzuki still places too much reliance on hard plastics in what is an otherwise well put together cabin.

Practicality screams family car. Pockets and holders everywhere and a bag hook and tie down is the generous boot.

The S-Cross is built in Hungary by a robot whose name I do not have. Certainly it would appear it will be some time before it is deployed on anything other than crossovers.