MOST of us are familiar with the butterfly effect. A cabbage white flaps its wings on a Wigan allotment and eventually, at the other end of the world, hurricane Albert is blowing the knotted hankies off the heads of holidaying pie and peas tycoons.

Today let me introduce the iceberg effect. A single-parent polar bear reaches to save her cub from tumbling into the Arctic Ocean, causing a huge chunk of Greenland to snap off, floating dangerously away until it bumps into one of Mr Putin's ‘lost' submarines sending the crew to dine with Davy Jones.

This is just the excuse he needs to save the oppressed of Poland with a quick invasion. That in turn invokes the Nato treaty and we all go to heaven in a little rowing boat.

Armageddon, it must be pointed out, is therefore your fault.

What we used to be called weird beards but can't now because just about everyone has a beard, can draw up many Etch-a-sketch landscapes to show that man is responsible for the end of days. Only recently has wet weather been blamed on carbon burning as the UN talks on climate change drew to a close. Er, in Lima. Peru. So easy to cycle or jog to.

So we must all drive those miraculous electric cars. Except they don't actually work for drivers who need to go much further than the middle of town. The advertised range often falls well short of reality at the risk gliding to a halt at the gates of a remote farm near Royston Vasey in need of a cup of local electricity.

Of course you can find a charging point but this is an undertaking as great as the Hunt for Red October.

Alternatively, if somewhat self defeating, run a small generator in the boot plugged into the charging socket. Or buy a hybrid.

Having started life as a sackcloth public declaration of green cred, hybrids now come in all shapes and sizes, including 4x4s with separate motors driving front and back wheels, enhancing traction.

At the compact end of the market is the 1.5-litre Toyota Yaris, the cleanest small car around with 75g/km and the only non-plug in to qualify for 5% company car tax. Ah but only if it is the entry level Icon with 15-inch wheels whereas ours is the CVT Excel with an extra inch. Who says size does not matter?

Still boasting a possible 78mpg this version puts out 85g/km but is still road tax free. Sorry to report my best was 59mpg.

I know this because the Candy Crush generation is fascinated with electro-glyphics and the Yaris does not disappoint. There is a Touch 2 screen feature giving the now standard consumption chart, a bar graph of the last 15 minutes of driving, the best figure achieved since re-set and one of those amusing diagrams showing the flow of electricity from battery to engine and vice versa. is it me or are we at the bounds of both reality and driving distractions here?

It also houses the entertainment features, reversing picture and sat nav. The Yaris is a well equipped package at about £18,000 with this option.

This is not what you want if you live in the sticks and the CVT gearbox whines on the motorway. However, eased around town it is smooth and refined. The hybrid's electric take off is a joy and faster than a diesel alternative.

Toyota says the electric motor will cut in and out at any speed. As expected, a dial shows optimum economy. Handling? Sorry sir, wrong showroom.

Inside it is standard Yaris except for the dials and a bit of lost boot space. It's well finished with standard space for the class.

This is not a fast car, 11.8 seconds to 62mph, but it was never meant to be. It's an economical urban hatchback to ease you conscience and avert iceberg misery.