No shocks - it's a

Passat

VW Passat, front action
VW Passat, front static
VW Passat, side action
VW Passat, side static
VW Passat, rear static
VW Passat, dashboard
VW Passat, boot
Volkswagen Passat, rear

ITis a condition of the human animal that we do not like shocks. We like to be in our comfort zone, although personally I have yet to find even my slightly less irritated area.

Possibly the upset I remember best is walking out of the house under a cloudless summer sky only to be immediately drenched. How, why, what? Then spotting the wizened arm of my elderly neighbour retracting into a bedroom window clutching what was once commonly known as a chamber pot. In these parts the usual contents is considered excellent for a greener lawn. It is not as welcome on a business suit.

I mention this having been pulled up sharpish just yesterday by the sight of a man on his knees talking to the boot of a BMW. What is more, the boot was talking back. In a squeaky voice. To make matters worse it then opened and to reveal a small child along with several carrier bags of shopping.

Look, I know I have joked about this one in the past but really we should only ever expect to find children in the boot if all five seats are taken. Boots are for luggage. I think we all agree on that one.

With cars we have come to enjoy similar preconceptions and really do not like it when the status quo is disturbed. BMWs are for drivers with only a passing knowledge of road etiquette, Jaguars are for gentlemen and Volkswagens are bombproof.

So bearing this in mind we come to the latest manifestation of the VW Passat, specifically the SE trim Business version. I'd say the clue was in the name. It's an effortless high speed cruiser with a price tag and running costs which may even have half a smile playing on the lips of the finance director. No, it's wind.

Prepare to be unsettled. Especially if you feel the racehorse of old age is limping off into the sunset. It is 42 years since the launch of the original Passat. I can't even remember what was happening in 1973 but can shock you with admissions of shoulder length hair and a black velvet suit.

In the way that the Golf has become the benchmark for family hatchbacks the Passat is synonymous with all that a family saloon should be. The 148bhp two-litre diesel version of the latest rebuild is strong and at £25,000 offers the best blend of performance and economics.

It hits 62mph in 8.7 seconds and promises 70mpg. I was getting mid-fifties. Assuming it is primarily aimed at company users, although the SE is very affordable as a private car, you should know benefit in kind tax is 17% and after Dick Turpin's exciting free first year, VED is just £20.

Music to some ears maybe but satisfying the company tight-wad is not the whole story by any means.

The Passat looks and feels upmarket, it is a comfortable, smooth drive and has acres of space. The boot is so big I wouldn't be happy driving it through Calais at the moment.

SE trim brings with it a lot for the money but the pleasure starts with comfortable seats and a simple easy to use layout. If it is automatic or makes for a more enjoyable life it is on here; lights, wipers cruise, electronic brake, parking sensors, Bluetooth - shall I go on? No.

A thing of beauty, practicality and comfort the Passat may be but it is also highly advanced technically. Protection systems apply brakes, pick up zombie hordes by radar as they wander in front of traffic and a handy trailer assist if you tow a caravan, which many will judging by the relevant awards the car has won.

There is also traffic jam assist which brakes and steers automatically in stop go rubbish. Simply get out and buy a large coffee. No, don't.

To avoid such discomfort there are the options of either staying off the M62 all together or plugging your smartphone into Car-Net which links to the internet by the touch-screen for a full rundown of the day's heartache. Business spec includes satellite navigation.

There are some surprises. The Passat range is diesel-only now but later this year a plug-in petrol Hybrid is planned with a 1.4-litre engine and a range of 621 miles. In the next few weeks an Alltrack version goes on sale and if it is like its Skoda Scout stablemate but a bit betterwill be a highly recommended 4x4 estate.

So there you have it. No bombshells, no shockers, no England style group stage upsets. It's a Passat like all the previous Passats. Only better.

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