Renault serves up a

tasty SUV

Renault Koleos, front
Renault Koleos, side
Renault Koleos, 2017, front
Renault Koleos, 2017, front, static
Renault Koleos, 2017, rear, action
Renault Koleos, 2017, side, action
Renault Koleos, interior
Renault Koleos, boot
Renault Koleos, rear

ONE of the great things about social media is that anecdotes and tales of derring-do can be whizzing around the globe without adulteration in minutes.

Post something on off your Facebook or titter ye not and it makes its way around the cosmos without the need for enhancement or embellishment.

Like the example of the bloke taking his wife out for a celebration meal to a high-end restaurant of which he had prior knowledge who tweeted the establishment: "Will I get a proper dinner or do I have to shove a kebab down my throat like last time."

Immediately we all know that this is a superior kitchen after the style of wartime rationing.

We British will enthuse about scran which has required an all-services search to find it.

There was once a very expensive Hampshire hotel on the car launch circuit which was close to a petrol station convenience store.

It was usual to stop here not for fuel but Mars bars, crisps and a packet of sandwiches for after the evening meal.

Once, in London, I was served something which used the word emulsion a lot in the menu description presumably because it had been painted on the plate, although I have seen more substantial water colours.

How great it would have been to be able to tell all followers in one sentence the reality of the dining experience: "This food sounds very good and I will report on its quality as soon as the team of sniffer dogs has found it."

These days, therefore, I tend not to be taken in by a long list of ingredients and will make a judgement post digestion.

Similarly with cars.

Many flatter to deceive with exciting descriptive names and others make outlandish claims about their ability to enhance life and increase sexual prowess.

I prefer to digest the car for a while.

But not the new Renault Koleos, a taste acquired after just one brief journey to the chippy.

The Koleos is Renault's new large SUV which shares its platform with the Nissan X-Trail and comes with two diesel engines, a 1.6 and a 2.0-litre which keeps the menu simple and unequivocal.

There is no petrol option so ya, boo, sucks to the diesel witch hunters.

The larger engine is available as a 4x4 and this 172bhp, seven-speed automatic in Signature Nav trim is the subject of our all-day breakfast.

Before moving on to the performance and driving detail it is worth noting that the winning feature of the Koleos in Signature Nav trim is the interior and spec.

This is Renault's flagship in terms of interior quality and it shows.

Fully leathered out like the supply chain to a steakhouse and comes with a huge amount of kit including 19-inch alloys, an 8.7-inch touchscreen and a host of other fixtures including all modern parking and protective aids like over-speed regulation and traffic sign recognition, rear camera and hill start assist.

For your greater comfort the car is connected to all known galaxies and is full of clever cubby holes.

There is an automatic tailgate, hands free, romantic bedroom ambient lighting along with the usual driver aids and climate features.

There is no seven-seat option but practicality is good and the rear seats have one-touch folding.

All of which, considering this is a CVT gearbox unusually pain free, suggests a good place to spend long trips and it is for £34,200.

Yes, 62mph arrives in under 10 seconds which is agreeable but with suspension designed for comfort rather than excitement it is more stable and predictable than full of out-and-out agility.

All this translates into an average of 47mpg and emissions of 156g/km.

Frankly, if I had to drive this cabin for the next five years I would be more than happy, it just feels a good place to be and is up there with the Volvo XC60 for much less cash.

Off road?

Well it's able enough and never going to double as a field kitchen but tracks and fields are will within the system's grasp with the intelligent AWD technology lockable at under 25mph.

Think caravans.

If you must.

So, tasty, substantial, well executed and full of quality ingredients, it may not prove to be a volume seller but owners will be happy.

Very satisfying and far from the dog's dinner some serve up.

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