CAME across a guy in a 1977 MG Midget painted dog sick yellow, just like the one I once owned. How things have changed.
MG did themin that colour to match your complexion after a brief spin, and I mean spin, in the wet or frosty weather.
I loaned the keys to a friend one night so he could impress in the leg over department and he didn't stop shaking for three weeks.
Two of the major features included the steering wheel from the Lusitania and a non-optional paddling pool in the boot.
A whole 1,600cc, 0-60mph in the orbit of Neptune and a soft-top as effective as a flat cap. But what lovely leather and if you have a hard finish fascia make it black crackle.
Look around, young blades, the sports car of the 21st century is a hatchback with massive chassis engineering and ultimate reliability. You boys will not experience the joy of starting an SU carb car with a two pence across the solenoid terminals.
To remain au naturale you could get yourself into a couple of open tops and while you are at it some silly red jeans and shares in a nail bar.
Not for you the bitter-sweet memory of the wind in your hair, while you still had some, the wide open space between you and the rainclouds and a soft top which wouldn't reach its clasps in cold weather.
Never will you know how to tell the really intelligent girls by those five simple words: "I'm not getting in that."
Bringing us to the Suzuki Swift Sport, this one is a 1.4 Boosterjet, a label which would not be out of place in an episode of Space 1999.
Two things immediately attract about this eight seconds to 62mph petrol hot hatch; it is tremendous fun and costs a quid less than £18,000. In reality, if my nearest dealer is anything to go by, you will be offered an even better deal than that.
What exactly is a Boosterjet? Turbocharger to you and me, poking the fire to 138bhp while promising a responsible 50mpg combined average but to be honest I don't think you would be trying if that was attained every trip.
No, this is fun in the old fashioned sense. It sticks to the road, steering is precise, the lanes and moorland roads your oyster and it still deals with town work well thanks to its compact size and has a slick six-speed gearbox.
A chunky styling kit sets it aside from the standard Swift and if you find it easy to curb your enthusiasm that may be a better option given the price differential.
Nothing but blue skies, then. Well, not quite. It may look the part with a gaping grille, twin exhaust and 17-inch alloys but inside we still find the hard Suzuki finish. Mind you the same thing goes for SEATs so perhaps young drivers don't mind.
Harshness, however, is offset by a stylish, vibrant interior of contrasting trims, flat bottomed steering wheel in leather and sports seats, that sort of coolio.
There is a lot of standard kit from safety features like hill hold and brake assist to keyless entry and a parking camera. All the expected modern automation and connectivity is there along with a navigation system and touchscreen.
If practicality matters it has reasonable boot space, plenty of cubby holes and holders and split rear seats. Roomy, too.
Cars like this are a hardly expected to be smooth, elasticated suspension will simply see you wearing a hedge for a beard. Yes, we have bumpy roads, who'd of guessed?
Mrs O has just remarked that this whole exercise in like comparing a dinosaur with a lizard.
Bit pointed that. Suspect I play the dinosaur.