THIS week Mrs Queen's Britannic government has sent me two letters, the first offer of employment as Brexit secretary as one of only five people yet to be offered the job and the second inviting me to partake of the state pension scheme.
It is the second which interests me most. Payback time.
Yes the day is almost here to be compensated for that time of life where you wander into shops then can't remember what you came for, to make over-use of the phrase 'do you remember' and be reminded by the woman in your life to do your flies up. As if anything is likely to fly. Or even lightly flutter.
There was a time when I could drive to Cornwall nonstop whereas now I can describe the location of every little boy's room at every services and moan for Britain about skinny latte and the price of a ham sandwich.
However, I refuse point blank to become confused by mini roundabouts even if I have started sticking to the speed limit plus allowances.
January is the month, should a card and Champagne have crossed your mind, from when, popular myth has it, I cease to be interested in any car with a pulse.
So I decided it may be a good idea to spend a week with a Honda Jazz, the sort of car avoided by my mother in favour of Lexus. And still she left me money.
Look, someone has made a mistake here. This is alleged to be the motor which launched a thousand annuity plans but drive the 1.5 I-VTEC Sport Navi manual and you will see there is life after a gold watch presentation.
It's not a hot-hatch, at 8.7 seconds to 62mph, but has a tight feel, crisp handling and a raucous engine to give the 1.5 Jazz a satisfying warmth.
Not on the M6, though, where it really will test your tinnitus.
On the other hand it has good lines and begs to be made to work hard.
For economy look no further. It will knock out almost 50mpg on the combined cycle, which is more than good enough.
This ‘Earth Dreams' four-cylinder 128bhp engine is new to the Jazz and you can have it twinned with a CVT gearbox. Unless arthritis is an issue stick to the slick six-speed manual, it is engaging and fun.
A quality finish and comfortable seats, along with leather gear knob and steering wheel also make the sport a good place to sit. It is not the loudest of interiors but clean and angled towards driving.
Space has always been a big seller for Jazz and this third generation model continues the theme with loads of leg room back and front and the 'magic seat ' system with its many ways of folding for flexibility, sort of automotive origami. Boot space excels.
As this is a Honda it is well equipped butnot cheap. With metallic paint the Navi spec chops in at £18,265. It is up against the Fiesta, Ibiza and VW Polo but has more class than they do, greater maturity, as you may expect.
A driver assist packwith a camera and mid-range radar underpins the safety equipment which includes autonomous braking, traffic sign recognition, lane departure warning and high-beam support.
As expected lights and wipers are automatic, parking sensors feature front and rear you get the idea.
In the games section there is an internet enabled infotainment system with Garmin navigation, phone, quality sounds, plenty of the jacking points of modern life and a seven-inch touchscreen with Honda Connect.
Do you put one on the Christmas list? Yes. It will retain value, speaks volumes for good taste and is overall a refined ride.
Rad bro, lit, well Gucci for the Cheddar as young people may say. Sadly that no longer includes me.