THERE is a reality show which has broken cover, to name but one thing, aimed at the romantic predilections of people we will call nutters.
There are vampires, sister lovers, someone who is trying to get his 700lb girlfriend to gain weight and, here we go, a man who makes love to his Volkswagen Beetle.
Now, I am sure there are people who love their VWs, I never turn down the opportunity to drive one but there are limits. To enter into a tryst of a physical nature with Herbie, or for that matter Herbietta, is taking things one step beyond pneumatics.
Of course not everyone is enamored with every style of car and there are those, for instance, who dislike the SV, sports van as they are colloquially known in some markets, hatchbacks grown on into small estate cars we understand them as.
What can happen is that a perfectly attractive version of a car is made ugly by adding practicality inches.
Not so VW Golf SV.
I doubt anyone buys a Golf SV for its out and out beauty. It's not unattractive but then neither is it Busty O'Hara, destroyer of marriages. Far from it. This is just the sort of car to show you know what family responsibility is and you care about your kids. You can upgrade to a GTi when they have flown the roost.
Today's love interest is the SE Nav 130ps DSG.
Obviously this is no racing snake but that's not the idea. A reasonably swift, for the type, 9.1 seconds to 62mph is good enough especially linked to a tank range of 634 miles and economy of over 50mpg.
Staying with the budget news, emissions are 111g/km and tax is £140 after the first thieving year when it is £170.
Handling is good, too, very little lean and just what is to be expected from the mother of all fast hatchbacks.
Plenty of grip is a feature but out on the long haul things can a get a little lumpy, soothing counter balanced by investing in chassis control which on its softest setting produces a plush ride. No complaints about the seven-speed automatic gearbox, you can have a super-slick six-speed manual.
While there are no shocks but the turbo 1.5-litre petrol engine really is a star with a deactivation system which shuts down parts not needed at any one time.
This is a ride worth considering. Quiet, well put together and oozing quality. What exactly disd you expect. Ah yes, that will be pounds English 23,570.
Now step inside, luv as Cilla would say and there is no surprise, surprise.
Interior quality has always been a Volkswagen strong suit and the latest Golf is no exception to this rule.
The driver's seat provides plenty of support over long distances and position is superb, with height adjustment for the seat allowing people of all shapes and sizes The latest 1.5-litre engine is a hush job.
Even entry-level S models get an eight-inch colour touchscreen in the centre of the dashboard LED daytime running lights, predictive pedestrian detection, DAB radio, Bluetooth phone connectivity and air-conditioning that includes a cooled glovebox.
The SE comes with everything you need including the comprehensive passive safety we now demand
Practicality, more specifically boot space is dependent on where you slide the rear seat to but 500 to 590 litres is the sort of thing we are talking about along with e passenger storage features the family need for water, toys and s half eaten sandwiches long to be forgotten after a day by the seaside.
The SV manages to tickle many a fancy and avoid the usual dreariness of a family estate. Either you find something interesting like this or something bankrupting like a Â£40k tourer. Given the historic residuals of a VW product I'd have a look at the Golf SV.